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Random: Gator Attacks Naked Man on Crack
Posted December 1, 2006 11:31 AM
CBS news - Lakeland, Florida reported that a naked, 45 year-old man was rescued by four sheriff's deputies after being attacked and dragged into a lake on Wednesday. We at Guyville were initially unsure as to whether the man was on crack, or if he'd been bitten on his rear end as the headline read, "Gator Attacks Naked Man on Crack." He must have been high on crack, because how in the world could he survive an attack from a twelve foot alligator with one arm broken, another arm torn off, save for a single ligament, and both legs chomped on?
Technorati Tags: gator attack, lakeland florida
Not only was he alive long enough for authorities to get to him, but he also had the wherewithal to give them directions to where he was so they could fight through fog and mud to find him. If it were me, I'd have died the minute that thing got his choppers around my mid-section and dragged me into the water. One of the deputies claimed that the gator was about the size of a school bus. We still haven't been able to figure out why he was sleeping naked on the beach at 4am in the first place - and we mean the guy not the gator...we all know gators don't usually wear clothes. I guess when you're high on crack you get hot and you need to get your clothes off right away. Perhaps I need to start dating girls that take crack. Kidding, of course, well not really. We at Guyville don't have a guy gift to recommend to this crack using gentleman at this time, but we hope he recovers very soon.