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Random: David Blaine is magical
Posted September 6, 2007 1:23 PM
Big Poppa David Blaine is taking street magic to a whole new level. Call him crazy, call him stupid, but one thing about him will always remain untouchable, he's stupid. But if you thought his previous stunts were intense, this new one will leave you speechless. He hasn't revealed any details (yet) but he's started preparing and training for the most dangerous and death-defying challenge of his career. It will be airing live in May of 2008.
However we here at Guyville were able to get some details from an extra-planar spirit close to David and whatever crazy mind strengthening pills and gray matter exercises he has been doing, they are most definitely paying off, which by the way may interest you in trying your own magic here( also a great guy gift). Anyway, we were also able to procure his physical regimen and we've gotta tell you, it works. He starts with stretches, of course, (honestly who wants to pull something when a quick round of stretching solves that problem) and moves on to calisthenics. Just jumping jacks, up-downs, push-ups, and crunches with some jogging and sprints thrown in for cardio. The bit that comes after though is what really sets him apart. He's set up a rotation where he spends a half hour at each station. First, he lays himself across a giant gold altar and channels Tesla bolts. He's usually a little tired after that (?) and spends the next half hour sleeping in a blast furnace. Once he finishes and is all refreshed, he sprints for 30 miles in front of a corn harvester that's been loaded with twin hyper-drive engines. Yes, David can run. Faster than light. We suspect that it might have something to do with a stunt involving time travel but only the driver of the harvester has ever witnessed his faster-than-light dash, and only for a split second at that, leaving the whole subject in controversy. It is possible that we finally have the proof needed to confirm his ability. Watch this and decide for yourself. And one more thing to leave with, cheese-its!
Tags: David, Blaine, spoof, magic,
