8 Ways To Hide Your Video Game Addiction
It's the wake-up call of 2009. If Andy Murray - millionaire, sports super-star, and stud (with an accent no less...chicks love accents!) - cannot hold onto his lady because of an alleged video game "problem," hope is dwindling for the rest of us. Because, when it comes down to it, we probably don't have 1/3 of Andy's appeal. If your gal pal isn't turned on by baller thumb callouses and your 3:1 kill to death ratio, you'd better hide your video game addiction quick before she pulls a Kim Sears on your gaming behind.
8 Things Andy Murray Should Have Done
1.
Gotten his girlfriend hooked, too. Nothing says love and "us time" like teaming up to stop Russia's virtual invasion of the United States.
2.
Hidden his console and any evidence of playing. Most men master this at the age of 15 when the fruits of internet and cable access are discovered, so the instant channel-flip, computer screen minimize, and controller stash should be ingrained.
3.
Convinced his girlfriend that he was required to play. Faster reaction time killing Nazi zombies equals faster reaction time on the tennis court. Everyone knows that.
4.
Turned his bathroom into a gamer paradise. Move all the equipment into a locking lavatory, feign some food poisoning, and enjoy uninterrupted hours of WOW. Just keep the sound off, or there will be some explaining to do.
5.
Blamed it on someone else. "That's not my Halo. That's Federer's game. Go talk to his girl friend."
6.
Scheduled lots of long trips. She won't want to go to a week long underground tennis tourney in Bulgaria. Invent trips, hole up in a hotel, and have at it.
7.
Masked his stories of gaming triumphs with language his girlfriend can relate to. "I went out with Jeremy the other day to stock up on supplies, and we ended up saving a ton of cash!" is the non-video game addict version of "Yesterday, after completing our gather quest, Neldor Moonshadow and I received a huge amount of in-game money!" No one is the wiser.
8.
Dumped her first. Wear the Gamer Badge with pride. If she doesn't like the situation, she can hit the road. Some other girl will appreciate dedication, skill, and precision shooting for what it's worth.
