Thanksgiving's Fattiest Meals
Think your family's Thanksgiving favorites are hard on the arteries? Think again. The creators of This is Why You're Fat run a blog (now turned cookbook) celebrating the most repulsive, bacon covered gut bombs on the web. From 'deep fried Coke' (it's like a funnel cake made with coke syrup) to Twinkie casseroles, these double fried butter busters are made to make you gag in horror, while leaving a little to the imagination of what the hell a Turbaconucken actually tastes like.
In honor of the most gluttonous day of the year, here's a list of our favorite Thanksgiving heart stoppers as featured on the Today Show.
Thanksgiving's Fattiest Main Courses
The 12 Bird True Love Roast
A sought after meal in the UK, this delectable dish contains over 50,000 calories and can serve up to 125 people.
1. Turkey, 2. Goose, 3. Barbary duck, 4. Guinea fowl, 5. Mallard, 6. Poussin, 7. Quail, 8. Partridge, 9. Pigeon squab, 10. Pheasant, 11. Chicken, 12. Aylesbury duck
Just in case you didn't have an annual brain fart like I did when I asked "How did they fit a duck inside a goose inside a turkey?" They fill the turkey up with the breast meat of the other 11 birds until it weighs a whopping 20 stone (wait, is that whopping? Damn people from other countries. How much does a stone weigh?) Anyway, it took 8 hours to cook, which means that is one big ass bird.
Turbaconucken
Chicken! Duck! Turkey! Bacon! Heart! With your powers combined - I am the saltiest bird ever created!
Thanksgiving's Fattiest Side Dishes
Hot Beef Sunday
One of Nebraska's finest treats. This is the exact description from a bus stop bill board:
Golden mashed potatoes covered with a generous portion of our roasted and seasoned to perfection top round beef. Then aged in cheddar cheese, more golden mashed potatoes smothered with our special beef gravy, more aged cheddar cheese, a slice of buttered toast and a cherry tomato on top.
Bacon Meatloaf Mac N' Cheese
It's so gagtastic. Luckily, the bacon acts as a delectable cover to block the meat and cheese juices from escaping.
Mama Stamberg's Cranberry Relish
It's supposed to be pink? Just two cups of cranberries, an onion, 3/4 cup of sour cream, 1/2 cup sugar and two table spoons of horse radish and you'll have a zippy cranberry sauce that looks like Pepto Bismol. NPR says "It sounds terrible but tastes terrific!" I think I'll pass.
Thanksgiving's Fattiest Desserts
Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding
I can already feel my teeth shatter. This recipe made it on the Food Network's Paula Home Cooking, where they took an awesome idea and crapped all over it. Paula, if you feel the need to ruin great desserts with dried fruit, PUT IT IN THE TITLE! Do you really think no child can resist the sweet zing of raisins?
Oreo Stuff Dip
I can just imagine the maniacal laughter of the pre-teen who thought this up as he scraped the frosting off each cookie and threw the bowl of white lard into the microwave.
Snack Food Stadium
Welcome to the first annual turkey bowl at
Snack Food Stadium. As you can see, the Cheetos are at full capacity today, ready to see all that hot sausage fest action on the Guac-o-turf.
Check out
Holy Taco for step-by-step instructions to make your own Twinkie Gridiron masterpiece.
