Your Morning After New Year's Party Care Package
It's January 1st. The glowing rays of morning afternoon sun strike your reposing body. You crack open those bleary, sleep-crusted eyes for the first time in the new decade. You stretch and sit up, ready to jump start those New Years resolutions and grab the year of tiger by its fangs.
And then you see the mass of mostly-empty beer cans and broken champagne bottles littering the floor of your apartment.
And then you choke back the first bout of hangover vomit.
And then you see two people you don't recognize sleeping on the couch without their pants on.
And then you remember that last night was a raging New Years celebration.
It's a good thing '2009 you' prepared for the aftermath of a Night-of-Your-Life Party with hangover cures in this:
Your Morning After New Year's Party Care Package
A personalized E-Z fill flask. Getting started the morning after is near impossible if your brain is cracking open and your gut is kicking off in the roiling bile bowl (I think USC is playing in that this year). Fight back with some hair of the dog who bit you. The wide mouth of the
E-Z fill flask means you won't spill a drop, even if your vision's a little blurry. You will be up and at 'em in no time.
A new ice bucket. When in the heat of a Jager bomb moment, turning everything into a hat sounds like a great idea. Think ahead and hide a
personalized ice bucket under your bed where no one can add it to their collection of ass hattery.
A duffle bag.Pretty much everything in that bachelor hole you call home is going to have to be thrown away. Chances are it has been soaked in beer, saturated with champagne, and probably been used as a receptacle for various bodily fluids. You're better off starting the new year by moving. Take the bare essentials in your
personalized Logan deluxe duffle bag and get out of there.
New beer mugs. Everything that is in your kitchen cabinets will be broken. Get over it. Buy yourself a
personalized tavern mug set that will last you until 2011 - or until your next blow-out bash.
A multi-purpose tool with pliers.You're going to need something to get your bathroom door back on its hinges. But seeing as how you are the champ of the New Years '10 Beer Pong tourney, it's pretty much worth it.
