Was I the only one who blew out my mouthful of Cheerios when I heard that Neel Kashkari, a former Goldman Sachs executive and merely 35 years old, was to be in charge of the 700 billion dollar bailout? I'm sure this Kashkari is a bright young lad. He graduated from Wharton - the same place as Trump - so I'm sure he knows a few things about dollars and cents. He also helped to develop technology for NASA space science missions such as the James Webb Space Telescope, the replacement program for the Hubble telescope. I get it. Smart young guy, right? Well, one of the problems I have is that I flew by 35 nearly 4 years ago. Your math is correct. I'm almost 39 years old. I know how immature I am! C'mon, I'm older than this guy and I still watch Spongebob Squarepants, and most of the time without my daughter in the room! Seriously, I still laugh uncontrollably when I break wind and I'm older than this guy! Doesn't age bring wisdom? Doesn't he need to respect me because I'm his elder? Now the entire future of the housing market and the U.S. economy is on his shoulders?
Not only was Kashkari born after World War II, he was born after the Vietnam War. He was born right before Ford was president. That wasn't that long ago. That means he was playing kickball when Reagan was President, and was still a teenager when Clinton took office. Holy crap, man! I hope this guy is a prodigy and is off the charts. I hope he's not like young upstart Paul DePodesta who ran the Dodgers into the ground based on his "Moneyball" bible. By the way, DePodesta is now a front office assistant for the San Diego Padres. Not that I'm making any judgmental comparisons.
Sigh...well, Kashkari looks like a boxer to me. He looks like a guy who has had his nose broken a few times, and his shiny bald head makes him look more like an MMA fighter than a nerdy bookworm, so perhaps that is a good omen. Perhaps he'll fight for us, find a solution for us and take us back to a place where we don't crap our pants at the fear of the ATM printing out those three terrifying words, "You're broke sucka!"
