Sports
Mitchell Report Misses the Point: Contracts Cause the Steroids Problem
Posted December 13, 2007 1:24 PM
Yeah, Mitchell missed the point. On purpose. Look at his report. Do you see any young players getting busted? I see 12-year veterans and retired or practically retired players. Guys who may not want to quit, but can be drummed out with great fanfare, while the next generation picks up where they left off.
We pay these guys millions, sometimes tens of millions of dollars. And we load up their contracts with incentives.
Do the calculation in your head: Best case, a player plays one extra year, hits five extra home runs, gets a few more strikeouts. That kicks in an incentive clause that pays for a six-pack of Ferraris. And getting into the record books makes a nice retirement plan.
Worst case, they get caught, get fired, and have to live on their paltry millions.
We've created a system that provides all the incentive to cheat, and no incentive whatsoever to be honest.
But that's not the real tragedy. The real tragedy is that kids are getting a mixed message: If you cheat, you'll get called before Congress, after you've earned $50 million.
Mitchell knows all of this. He also knows he can't wreck a multi-billion-dollar industry. So he's shuffling off some of the old guys. End of story. Can we go back to our regularly scheduled programming now?
Sports Of The World Unite
Posted December 5, 2007 9:15 AM
Sports from all across the globe are being united by the one thing they have most in common, scores. That's right guys, all of your sports will be constantly updated and available from any computer once ESPN launches its new site next year. The dream site, ScoreCenter.com, plans to feature scores from sports all over the world including football, cricket, baseball, and of course soccer, which will have live scores from 460 leagues; not to mention the site will be available in six languages for true world wide compatibility. Pretty sweet huh?
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Cycle Slaw
Posted November 27, 2007 9:24 AM
Bicycles. What with so many cars (and even ones not horrible for the environment, wow.) to choose from and everything needing to be happening NOW it seems that people are forgetting the pure and simple windblown pleasure of riding a bike. There are utility bicycles, mountain bicycles, racing bicycles, touring bicycles, cruiser bicycles, and BMX bicycles to name some common types. Also a part of the bicycle kingdom are tandems, recumbents, lowriders, tall bikes, fixed gear, and folding models. Now isn't that so much more fun? Instead of saying you've got a 4-door sedan or a hatchback you get to throw out a name that sounds cool and will probably say something about who you are, or at least what kind of riding you do but that's besides the point.
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Rugball. And No That's Not Sexual
Posted November 12, 2007 9:06 AM
We've covered football, we've covered soccer, we've even covered rugby, but what we haven't covered is Rugball. A combination of all three, somehow, this really is a sport for guys. It involves a grassy area to play, a soccer ball
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What Kind Of Man Does It Take
Posted October 22, 2007 9:45 AM
Alright guys this is where we separate the men from the boys, American football and rugby. It might also be where we separate the muscle-heads from the purely insane, but that decision will be left to you. First let's go over the basics. Football is a contact sport played with pads and helmets where a select few get to carry the ball and usually only a couple per a play. Rugby, or more specifically union rugby, may involve pads and helmets, but all are strictly limited by the International Rugby Board. Any gear worn is constructed from cloth and foam and is intended only to protect collarbones and ears from cauliflower ear. Also any position can carry the ball, though that isn't the strategy, and the play keeps running so long as there aren't any infringements or scores.
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Mop Sop Suds, the Ultimate Guy Game
Posted October 13, 2007 1:00 PM
Guys, the sport of the century is here (ESPN Ocho status, if you know your movie lingo) and here to stay. Just about anyone can play, no tryouts or fees involved. I take that back, there might be some money leaving your pockets. On the other hand if you play your cards right you'll be filling them full of that sweet sweet bread and what's not to like about that? The game we're talking about is of course Mop Sop, the in-store mopping game.
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Football Reigns
Posted October 8, 2007 9:16 AM
The ball is now in play guys and football season is roaring. We've got three teams so far that are still undefeated, the colts, patriots, and cowboys. Now the colts and patriots already have this weekends win under their belts so now we'll have to see tonight if the cowboys can take the bills (yea that'll be a doozy) and keep up the three team winning streak. Probably the best part about these multiple teams being undefeated is all the speculation, minus watching your team whoop the snot out of everyone of course.
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Brazil's Ronaldinho Tromps Improving US Football
Posted September 18, 2007 9:39 AM
Guys, it's time to talk football. Not the kind that the Canadians tried to remake or the European Football League, which is actually somewhat decent. No, we're talking about the football these great states call soccer, a sport played and loved by those all around the world. However, out of all the worlds teams, it is the number one ranked Brazil that displays the level of skill and excellence to truly place them there and even then, Ronaldinho, their star player, is still something more.
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Tour de France: Jan Ullrich's Dog?
Posted July 18, 2007 7:26 AM
The Tour de France is under way. VeloNews caught this confrontation between a hapless dog and an equally hapless T-Mobile cyclist. Looks like the dog won this one:
I'd think this was funnier if I hadn't had similar incidents with poodles and the like. We at Guyville would like to give a hearty, sarcastic wave to the git who let their dog wander onto a race course full of riders going 25+ mph. Photos from VeloNews.
Any chance this is Jan Ullrich's dog? The ex-T-Mobile rider was banned from the sport, then retired, on doping allegations last year.
PS: Dog and rider were OK. Bike was not. You can see a video of the incident here.
Guyville Guy Attempts A Slam Dunk
Posted April 4, 2007 10:43 AM
This will be the last one in the trilogy, (at least for a while). The average guy doing extraordinary things mission continues as our favorite guy attempts the near impossible...a slam dunk on a 10 foot rim. Our guy is old...a little fat, and not very tall at a mere six feet. How he thinks he can pull this off is beyond us, frankly, but we applaud the effort and can't help but laugh as he tries on his 20 year old letterman jacket and wears a less-than-flattering jersey.
Technorati Tags: comedy, sports, basketball, top ten movies
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Quest For The 320 Yard Drive!
Posted April 1, 2007 9:04 AM
Okay, fine, we'll get back to our gifts for men product reviews very soon, we swear, but you have to get a load of this. Our official Guyville Guy failed in his bid to throw the football 60 yards on the fly, but this task is harder and even more fun to follow. Guy, an alleged 14 handicap on the course is trying to hit the ball out with Tiger, Daly and the big boys. He doesn't have any special equipment, just his trusty Ping driver and semi-descent swing sprinkled with a healthy dose of ego and testosterone.
Technorati Tags: gifts for men, longest drive, golf, ping
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Can You Throw A FootBall 60 Yards?
Posted March 28, 2007 6:53 PM
We're not all gifts for men all the time. That's right guys, today Guyville wants to challenge your manhood. Can you toss the pigskin 60 yards? Our boy Art gave us all a peek at his manliness when he went out with some buddies and got it all on tape. Check out this non-football playing guy's super gun as he goes on his quest to throw an NFL football 60 yards on the fly. We want to invite you, you red-blooded tough guys to go out and show us just how far you can throw the football. Can you launch it like old man Art? If you don't have the right stuff, then send it out to your friends that do. We will award the winner of this make-shift contest an official Guyville tee-shirt. Winner to be announced on May 1st, so you better get to tossin'. Post a link to your youtube video in our comments section of this article. You'll need a couple of things. First, you'll need an official NFL football. Next you'll need a measuring tape, and last you'll want a video camera. Comedy this good only comes once in a lifetime.
Technorati Tags: football toss, how far throw football, NFL football, youtube
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March Madness is The Most...
Posted March 18, 2007 2:24 PM
...wonderful time of the year. Yeah, that's right, at this stage of my life I love it even more than the holidays. That might be because all I do at Christmas time is shell out money to buy gifts for family including third and fourth cousins whose last names I don't really know, while all I seem to get in return is many pairs of really ugly socks. March madness meanwhile gives me all that a red-blooded hoops fanatic like myself could ever want. I got plenty of beer, plenty of pizza, plenty of buddies (tearing up my house in the other room), Nintendo Wii fired up in the other room and Play Station 3 ripping it up in the den.
Technorati Tags: march madness, nintendo wii, tivo
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Sport Illustrated Swimsuits
Posted February 23, 2007 5:07 PM
Did I just get too old or do we rarely hear about the Sport Illustrated Swimsuit Edition anymore? I grew up waiting for this thing in the mail every year. I'd try to get to it before my Dad did and usually ended up succeeding year in and year out. I'd try my best to protect the pages of this thing, but give a 15 year-old kid a new magazine with the world's hottest babes and well, you know what happens. In the early 90's I had season tickets to the Clippers (yes they suck, I was wrong about them AGAIN!) and an interesting conversation came up with the guys in my row.
Technorati Tags: air jordan, cindy crawford, sports illustrated, swimsuit edition
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NBA All Star Weekend
Posted February 18, 2007 9:49 PM
This weekend was a sports fan's dream come true, unless of course you're a huge Phil Mickelson fan. How can a guy who has won 30 times on tour, and won as recently as last week at Pebble Beach suddenly potentially have a reputation as being a choker? He had the Nissan Open in the bag, and then suddenly out of nowhere Charles Howell III, who has had a monkey on his back for quite some time, pulls this one out of the blue by beating Phil in a playoff. Nobody saw this coming, including Howell, who looked more shocked than my Uncle Harry...and Harry was plenty shocked, even though he's dead.
Technorati Tags: NBA All Star Weekend, PGA Tour, Phil MIckelson, Kobe Bryant
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The NBA In 3-D
Posted February 16, 2007 6:28 AM
Ladies, imagine trying to purchase tickets for four to an NBA game as potential gifts for him this season. It could run you upwards of a thousand dollars or so for really good seats. It's a hefty price to pay for a two and a half hour game. The answer to this dilemma is coming fast and furious and we're wondering why someone didn't think of this sooner. How many times have we said, "Wow, high def really makes you feel like you're at the game." Well the NBA is in the process of filming this year's all-star game with a new, high tech 3-D technology, developed by Vince Pace, that will be shown in select theaters. The idea being that if you're a fan in a market that has tickets that are either too high priced, or are simply unavailable due to sell outs, you can still enjoy the game, not only in high def and on a movie screen, but you can also enjoy it in 3-D.
Technorati Tags: guy gifts, kobe bryant, lebron james jersey, NBA, 3-D technology NBA
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Super Bowl Reminders
Posted February 1, 2007 2:57 PM
It's never to late to represent. Ladies, if you want to make it an extra special Super Bowl this year, then don't forget that extra little gift for him this 2007. Don't let the day be disastrous. Remember to allow your man to express himself by wearing a brand spanking new Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman jersey. Also, don't forget to give Dick's Sports a look for some of your favorite sports team paraphernalia as well as cool customizable options.
Technorati Tags: cool gifts, guy gifts, NFL jerseys, super bowl 41
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Four Man Tent My Ass!
Posted December 31, 2006 8:33 AM
It's not that I'm an avid camper, I'm far from it, but when I rolled into Big 5 Sporting goods and picked up that four man tent for a mere thirty nine bucks, I knew it was going to be a great weekend. Ah, the fresh air, that wonderful smell of a freshly lit barbecue, and the company of good friends...what could be better? Well, paradise, as described my moronic friend who had told me for years that this specific camping ground was a piece of heaven was, actually, in a parking lot near (not on) the beach. Technorati Tags: Camping, guy gift, men's gift, men's gifts, Outdoors, Tent
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Have You Seen My Schwetty Balls?
Posted November 14, 2006 11:34 PM
Schwetty balls is the perfect gift for a guy who worships golf, but understands the game and all of the humor surrounding it. We golfers take the game so seriously, yet it truly is just a walk around a lovely park spoiled by a little white ball.
Technorati Tags: cool gifts, Golf Balls, Golf Gifts, guy gifts, sports gifts
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It's Hip to Clip
Posted November 11, 2006 8:00 PM
It’s Hip to Clip? Clipper Nation? Who are these guys? If you thought last years amazing Clipper run was a fluke, then guess again. These guys are for real.
Technorati Tags: guy gifts, sports gifts, LA Clippers, Los Angeles Clippers, NBA
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Double Deluxe Duffle
Posted September 13, 2006 5:16 PM
Guys and duffle bags can be a tricky thing. Every store in the world offers their version of what they think we, as guys would want to have included in the bag. To be fair, they usually get some of the important stuff right like the shoulder strap, the nifty side pockets, and a few other features.
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MLB Engraved Baseball Bat
Posted August 31, 2006 10:43 AM
Perhaps no other sporting object is more symbolic than that of a simple piece of solid lumber that represents American apple pie and over a hundred good years of history. That’s right, I’m speaking of a simple baseball bat.
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Personalized Golf Balls
Posted August 29, 2006 2:46 PM
A personalized golf ball what an incredibly novel concept! How many golfers in your group are playing the same ball as you?
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Personalized Putter no. 1
Posted August 29, 2006 2:14 PM
How do we present an homage to our forefathers for creating the greatest game of our lives? Most importantly, how do we get our mitts on this awesome personalized putter as part of our links collection?
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How to Read a Putt
Posted August 29, 2006 1:35 PM
You see those guys on TV- kneeling down, holding up their putter with the handle between their squinting eyes, biting their lip, trying to look cool under pressure while some yokel in a mint blazer holds up a "Quiet Please" sign. Essentially, the putt-reading method is fairly simple, the problem comes in because they are professionals and you suck. Nonetheless, reading a putt is a matter of taking your time, comparing angles, making wise judgments, and most importantly, executing.
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