Seen strolling through his brand new 339-acre property at Mirimichi, Justin Timberlake is reportedly clubbing defenseless birdies on his eco-friendly course opening this week. The Audubon Cooperative Sanctuary Program unknowingly certified this state-of-the-art hunting ground of birdies of all types, including the eagle, albatross and the seldom-researched 'bogey.'
Timberlake was able to snatch this property at auction, assumedly to feed his bloodthirsty desire for worm burning and whacking through doglegs. For a man powerful enough to bring sexy back, he has enough charm to keep the government from meddling in his devilish plan.
In his case, all he needs is 16 million dollars worth of geothermal and solar energy systems that are so powerful; it kicks back 20% of its total energy back to the Tennessee Energy Grid. To make matters worse, the recirculating creeks and advanced irrigation systems make this property self-sufficient.
At this moment, birdie hunters from all over the country are flocking to this property to join Mr. Timberlake in his quest to eradicate these winged creatures.
Justin Timberlake was not available for comment because the opinions of Guyville were not worthy of his consideration.
