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One Small Step For Man, One Frog Leap For Mankind
Posted January 10, 2008 10:38 AM
Today's Leapfrog Day! And if it wasn't before than now it is. It's everything leapfrog you'll ever want to see. You already know about the game leapfrog, jumping over your friend while they duck down and then doing the same for them and on and on until you get sick of it or mess up and fall in a tumble of limbs. What you might not know are the many other uses of leapfrog. In hockey and soccer it is a slang term used for scoring 4 goals in a single game. LeapFrog Enterprises is a company that makes educational toys for children. Pretty exciting. Some better ones though? Leapfrog is a variation of the doggy style position where she angles her body downwards or lies flat and he straddles her legs. In the words of wikipedia: "This position allows for vigorous thrusting."
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Funny Friendships, Really Funny.
Posted January 3, 2008 10:58 AM
Friendships are an amazing thing. A friend is someone you can trust, look to for help, screw around with, and screw with in general. Usually the first three take precedence in the friendship, but every now and then you've got to screw with your friend. You guys are close enough to take a joke between each other, maybe something that you notice about them that they don't quite notice, maybe something they notice about you, or maybe you just make something up to mess with them. There are many routes to take, but as the friendship grows stronger so must the prank. Watch the progression of friendship, it begins here:
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Welcome To The New Year!
Posted January 2, 2008 10:25 AM
It's 2008 and we're all still here, guess that means you DO have to go through with those new years resolutions. Yes it sucks, but just think what a better person you'll be after the couple weeks/months that you actually stick with it! Okay fine, maybe you'll stay true through the whole year and good for you, but honestly can the majority of us say we will? Yes, we can say that, but no not honestly. Maybe that's due in part to what we're telling ourselves we're going to do to change ourselves, like "oh i'm going to eat healthier this year" or "I'm going to workout so I can look good" or maybe you thought you'd resolve to help others and the environment, go "more green." If it was the latter then you're on the right track, if not then resolve to find out more.
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A More-Than-Perfect Resolution
Posted December 27, 2007 10:27 AM
Alright guys, we know we're perfect and better than women (the only people that really judge our "faults") but if you actually do have some things to work on then this is where you'll find them. These are the ONLY situations where you should even CONSIDER making resolution for the new year. Men are too evolved to ever lack in any areas, but we can still continue to evolve and maintain our supremacy for decades to come.
Resolution #1: Directions. We're perfectly capable most of the time, but sometimes other men know more than us. Listen to them. They're still men.
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Election Selection
Posted December 27, 2007 10:01 AM
The elections are going to be here sooner or later and knowing your candidates will be a deciding factor when voting... obvious yes, but how many people actually take the time to look into things? Well we decided to put together some campaign ads made by and for a couple of the top contenders. Aside from these videos though be sure to browse the lesser candidates for some pretty good laughs. But here these are:
Mrs. Hillary Clinton everyone, let's give her a round of applause, then maybe she can make those decisions.
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Oh Boy Those Crazy Canadians
Posted December 26, 2007 10:21 AM
We all know that there are some differences between us and our cousins up north, like how we talk, how we lock our doors, our crime rates, etc. So of course new contrasts are going to continue to spring up among so many others. One of those is how government manipulates the people using fear. Many support the idea that governments use fear to enact urgency in people so that bureaucrats can get things done quickly and with little opposition, because who's going to say no when their life is on the line? Not you or I that's for sure. It's obviously a very powerful influence, so how are others using it?
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The 6 Million Dollar Ache
Posted December 20, 2007 10:14 AM
Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster... All words you'd hope to hear after getting caught on the back hand of this little game. It's called Nut Tappers. Pretty self explanatory obviously, but let's explore why it's funny, there is a reason.
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Fun In The Office.. Or Really Anywhere
Posted December 19, 2007 10:14 AM
You've surely been in a situation like this: you're having a conversation with someone that is telling a story about what another person was saying. Then they start in on something that that person said which was a bunch of bull, so what do you do? You give a couple ghost-faps and share a laugh. What happens when you or someone else gives the fap to the person they're conversing with?
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Information For You. And Anyone Else.
Posted December 18, 2007 9:35 AM
Congratulations Americans, the polls are in and apparently we're all more conceited! A study by the Pew Internet and American Life Project said about 47 percent of U.S. adult Internet users have looked for information about themselves through Google or another search engine. Now that could just mean that people are curious about what information is available about themselves online where any person can access it, but what it does mean is that we want to research ourselves. The internet knows all so why wouldn't it know all about you and I?
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9/11, What?
Posted December 13, 2007 10:46 AM
There's been another terrorist attack on America, land of the free home of the brave. At approximately 10:23 pacific standard time a small uhaul truck, determined to have been packed with 300 pounds of weapons grade enriched uranium explosive, drove to a park west of downtown Los Angeles in the holy place we know as Hollywood. Millions have perished with the numbers steadily climbing as more people are brought to hospitals; who by the way were not nearly ready for such a massive influx of radiated patients and are now calling for support from the surrounding counties and states to help them in this time of need. This is an exclusive breaking news story so you won't find it anywhere else. Like anywhere. So don't bother looking, just run outside and panic and scream.
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Guy Gifts For The Maladjusted Jokester
Posted December 13, 2007 10:36 AM
Welcome to the land of Guy Gift Ideas! We have a large selection of ideas (secret ones) that we're posting here to share with you and all the world. Today's selection for the guys consists of some fun/kinda disturbing sometimes gifts that he's sure to enjoy. Some of the items are probably better suited as stocking-stuffers, but overall these are best considered to be the guy version of something that's cute. Take a look and see if some of these gifts fit the guy you're looking for.
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Best Cartoon In The Universe
Posted December 11, 2007 10:44 AM
Really more than a cartoon, Futurama is a collection of characters and situations that will have you rolling on the ground. Developed by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen you might be wary(?) but it won an Emmy, recognition by even the people who have not and will never watch it and proof enough that it is a good show. In fact they even came out with a new Futurama movie, Bender's Big Score
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Absinthe Ban Lifted In US
Posted December 9, 2007 11:22 AM
That's right, you guys really just read those words. The United States has lifted its ban on the production and sale of absinthe with wormwood and companies are rearing up and readying to start pushing their products. It's not the same as traditional absinthe in that it doesn't have any thujone in it, an ingredient thought to be responsible for the drinks psychotropic effects, but that actually has no such effect, meaning you still get the real deal.
So far there are St. George Spirits and Lucid being the two main distillers of absinthe with wormwood in the US. We're sure there are some more out there already or will be soon though. Keep looking, but really just rejoice at the fact that ABSINTHE IS FINALLY LEGAL HERE!!!
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Extravideoaganza
Posted December 4, 2007 10:45 AM
The Internet as a whole is ridiculously awesome. There is so much information and communication operating on a global level, all of it available at the click of a button. Given this global reach it's no surprise of the magnitude of junk that is also available online. One are that seems to be exonerated from the junk category are online videos. Maybe it's because of You ube, but nonetheless people are either watching videos or staring in them, no matter how bizarre the topic. One of the most impressive things about online videos is the sheer number of them. You can find funny videos, morbid videos, disgusting videos, informative videos, as well as lots and lots of completely worthless ones (just skip those..except for that one (just so you know what to skip)).
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A Newsline Special
Posted December 3, 2007 11:33 AM
There are many problems facing today's youth that are twisted and upsetting, even more so because of how little we know of them. Societies predators have adapted well to hide among us, appearing innocent until the situation presents itself for them to strike. This problem facing today's America, is bro rape. And even though it's guyville instead of broville, that doesn't mean that we aren't sympathetic to those bros in need. As many people as possible need to lend them the care they deserve. That's right, we're calling for all of you to be predators.
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Gifts And Comics That Appreciate
Posted November 29, 2007 9:52 AM
With so many stand up comedians today it's sometimes hard to sit down and try out someone new. I can't tell you how many times I've sat down to watch some Comedy Central Presents (Mitch Hedberg and a couple others are good though) just to change the channel after the first five minutes of watching some jack off try and be funny. They're all too concerned over making it big and showing just how funny they can be on tv. It's all too rehearsed. They need to have a game plan obviously but once they're up there they need to go with things a little better, say the things that come to mind however "not funny" they may appear. I want real comedy, real people. We all should.
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Yea, Work Sucks...
Posted November 28, 2007 9:38 AM
A video not made by the guys over at derrickcomedy.com fails horribly at capturing opposites. Honestly nothing they say in any way relates to what a real life opposite day experience is like. I mean you would think that an opposite day would be filled with people saying things that are funny and not confusing, but they didn't do just the opposite. And don't imagine for a second that it might actually be fun to try and have your office celebrate, this is actually way easier than it looks, though it is really dumb and stupid and probably never worth a shot. Don't try it.
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Black Friday Should Really Be Ten Days Earlier...But Still On A Friday...
Posted November 21, 2007 9:06 AM
The first big stop on the shopping countdown is only a couple days away and some game planning is in order. It's not like you're going to be alone out there and it won't matter how much Sunday (?) night football you've been watching, you're not going to get through the line without some kind of structure. We've got five rules that should help at least a little in there (rabies shots aren't listed but that should have happened a while ago, get in the game).
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A Man For The People
Posted November 15, 2007 9:53 AM
Actually THE man for the people. People magazine recently published this year's list of sexiest men with none other than Matt Damon heading it up. Starring in freaking awesome movies like any and all of the The Bourne Trilogy
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Business Time With The Conchords
Posted November 14, 2007 9:57 AM
There are plenty of comedians out there, but one of the funniest types are those guys that sing their humor. Demetri Martin
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Perfect, A Post-Rock Future
Posted November 13, 2007 9:18 AM
Post-rock has made a huge impact on today's music. A genre name that has fallen out of favor, but continues to describe the style nonetheless. The genre uses musical instruments commonly associated with rock music to create rhythms, harmonies, melodies, timbre, and chord progressions that are not found in rock tradition. An easier way to look at it is the use of 'rock instrumentation' for non-rock purposes. If not already a fan, the music is perfect for any guy that likes to have good music always running in the background and really any guy with a taste for brilliantly composed music.
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PSA: Don't Be A Fool
Posted November 7, 2007 9:52 AM
Every guy wants to be able to get lost in the wilderness and survive off the land. Some might be able do so with proper training and experience, but one thing that you can't do is survive alone in the wilderness because you watch Man vs. Wild. You just can't. Star of the show Bear Grylls might be able to pull off survival (having a film crew follow you around is the same as surviving alone apparently) but it takes a little more cajones and, more importantly, knowledge. What it all boils down to though is that no matter what day profession you have or how religiously you watch the show, watching Man vs. Wild will still be the equivalent of tugging one out on a patch of grass.
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Ingenious Designs Of Past Times
Posted November 2, 2007 1:29 PM
Today we're gonna give it up for guy ingenuity. With everything that happens in the world, both unique or seemingly not, perspective is essential. And with all of the records of these happenings we have at our disposal (i.e pictures, video, audio, etc) that perspective gains a new power, the power to create a masterpiece. Whether it's something intense or dramatic or funny, though all of those are a matter of opinion, it takes an innovative mind to recreate an event in an different image.
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Stealing Has Never Been So Funny
Posted November 1, 2007 10:00 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, guys and girls, (children shouldn't be reading this) welcome to the wonderful world premier of pickpocketing. He's got panache. He's got style. He's even got...everything you own? This folks is the master thief of magicians Bob Arno. Originally hailing from Stockholm, Sweden he now travels all over the world performing comedy routines centered around his lifting audience members.
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Psychology One-Oh-One: Guys
Posted October 31, 2007 10:00 AM
Good morning guys, class is now starting for the psychology of guys and boy is this gonna be quick. We'll start off with some basics and wrap everything up with a video and then questions and comments. So to begin we'll start with a quick compare and contrast between men and women. Biologically speaking our bodies are very similar concerning functions and general makeup, however there are some glaring differences, mainly our minds.
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Halloween Screams And Shivers, On Film
Posted October 24, 2007 9:26 AM
Movie time for fright night (not the movie, definitely not scary though there was that scene from his bedroom to his neighbors..) is always a time to be sure. There are plenty of purely gory movies out there and plenty suspenseful ones too, but finding that balance between the two is what makes a great scary movie.
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Electro Funk Daddy Superstar Cookin
Posted October 23, 2007 9:37 AM
There are always things out there that you should and shouldn't watch and cooking shows are right there on the edge. The Food Network has some okay ones with Iron Chef and Emeril, though if I hear one more bam from him that's exactly what he's getting, but that's probably why they're on a television channel. No, the real cooks (pronounced cewks here) are on the internet cooking shows.
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These Bears Are Grizzly
Posted October 19, 2007 1:16 PM
When you hear someone say bears the first thing that comes to mind is an animal or sports team, that's it. Just grizzled fur and thickly muscled bodies that munch on nuts and berries all day. Or the sports teams, whether they're swing bats and hitting balls to the rim of the stadium or handing off and passing balls to each other. The funny thing about that is never again will those be your first thoughts.
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Eat Your Salad Fingers This Halloween
Posted October 17, 2007 9:36 AM
Halloween is gonna be rolling around here soon guys so it's important to get in the mood. You know, be a little festive. Whether that's giving little ghoul and goblin children candy, dressing up yourself, or throwing a kick ass Halloween party for all the friends, you'll be doing your part for the holiday. And don't even think of not doing something (Simpson's Halloween specials do count as something), this is America and we celebrate every holiday regardless of its ties to ancient evil-doers; but personally we think druids are kick ass.
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Geometry, The New Bar Smarts
Posted October 11, 2007 9:44 AM
Good morning class. I hope you guys are preparing for this weekends drinking extravaganza. That means no staying home. No, it's out to the pub for you and today's lesson is going to earn you some free drinks, hopefully. You'll be learning about a proposition bet using full-blown basic geometry that is almost sure to win it for you.
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Bravo Law Enforcement! You Suck!
Posted September 19, 2007 9:49 AM
You guys have all had to deal with them at least once and if not, you're just lucky and you will soon enough. Police. The necessary force for maintaining order and peace, they protect us from the bad people that threaten the livelihood of innocent citizens. They have been an essential piece of a well functioning society for as long as society has existed, driven by the fact that some people do not want to submit to the greater authority. This disobedience can range all over the map from murders to drugs to simply trying to be heard as a human being. We should notice that that is where the discrepancy lies.
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Our Landlords Rock
Posted September 18, 2007 9:59 AM
Every guy out there knows that renting, whether it be an apartment or house, always brings along a little human baggage. We are of course talking about the landlord, that shadowy ghost who seems to dominate your mind at the beginning of every month. Just how much though depends on what kind of landlord they are.
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David Blaine is magical
Posted September 6, 2007 1:23 PM
Big Poppa David Blaine is taking street magic to a whole new level. Call him crazy, call him stupid, but one thing about him will always remain untouchable, he's stupid. But if you thought his previous stunts were intense, this new one will leave you speechless. He hasn't revealed any details (yet) but he's started preparing and training for the most dangerous and death-defying challenge of his career. It will be airing live in May of 2008.
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7 Reasons 'Geek' is the New 'Cool'
Posted August 7, 2007 2:13 PM
Bill Gates rawwwwwks man! Why? Because now I'm cool. Why? Here's the reasons, in no particular order:
- Earning potential. Duh. I may be broke now but one of these days my stock options will vest...
- Great conversation. Forget about the stammering stereotype. Geeks are chock full of fun anecdotes. I broke the ice with my future wife by showing her a binary star system.
- Great genes. All those brains to pass on...
- Better companionship. Sure we like sports just fine. But ballet is cool too! And seeing weird foreign countries, or trying foods we can't identify or pronounce.
- Your own IT department. Face it, you live at your computer, too. We'll make sure it always works.
- We're great with kids. No kid can resist a dad who can explode a balloon in a microwave, or tell the entire Lord of the Rings as a bed time story.
- Sex appeal. Not only is pasty the new tan, but we read a lot of, uh, instructional stuff. Plus we have better imaginations. We spent our high school years dateless, ladies. When we hit 45 we won't be looking for a comfy chair - we'll still be chasing you around the house.
Stick that in yer beer cans and drink, all you ex-high school jocks.
Chuck & Larry - Offensive?
Posted July 30, 2007 11:32 AM
There's a big hullabaloo over “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larryâ€. Is it offensive/hard to understand? Is it fine? Is it really clever? Is it just a lame movie?
We thought we'd ask you, our readers:
9 Year Old Steals Car From His Kidnappers
Posted July 19, 2007 12:05 PM
This kid rocks!!! Assuming this isn't a new urban myth...
Robbers held up a 9-year-old child and his mom as they drove through Haikou (China). They pulled the mother out and threw her to the curb, then drove away.
Two hours later, the police received a report that a small boy had crashed a car into an agricultural vehicle:
"Yang, a witness to the second incident, said: "A small boy got out of the car with his hands shaking and said: 'Some people stole my mom's car, and I drove it away when they weren't paying attention'."
[ Ananova ]
Never Too Late To Plan For Holidays
Posted June 29, 2007 4:42 PM
All right, I know it's really really insanely early, so instead of showing you or telling you about exactly what gifts for men you should be buying, we're simply going to show you the gifts for guys you should NOT be getting. Enjoy this hilarious 30 second video. Free...as in on the house.
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Practical Gifts For Guys
Posted June 19, 2007 3:21 PM
Or practical gifts for anyone. I love this Jeff Foxworthy video on gift giving. It's hilarious and true, and though it is a Christmas theme, I can't wait until December to share it with you. It's all about giving practical gifts, and hey, don't we all need extra light bulbs and canned goods?
Technorati Tags: gifts for men, jeff foxworthy, youtube
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Guyville Challenge? No Thanks
Posted June 11, 2007 8:19 AM
We're happy to take on challenges like throwing a football or doing a slam dunk. But dressing in medieval armor and pounding each other bloody seems like a bit much.
I will not participate in a sport where I walk out on a field knowing for certain I will get hit with a piece of rattan. Incredibly bruising video after the break:
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Good News For Star Wars Geeks
Posted May 27, 2007 7:32 AM
Genius George Lucas is posting 250 clips from all six Star Wars Films that will be posted at www.starwars.com for any and all S.W. geeks to edit, tweak and mess around with any way they see fit. It’s an interesting turnaround from the fierce protector of intellectual property "Lucas" that we’ve all known and loved for 30 years now.
Technorati Tags: george lucas, gifts for men, fossil watches, star wars
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Real Gifts for Men...Kids
Posted May 3, 2007 12:18 PM
Here's a story we've just heard about that is very funny, but at the same time has us seriously doubting this person's parenting skills...
So I’m getting ready for work in my bathroom and Samantha (4 years old) is getting ready for school in her room. We can’t see each other, but she’s only about 8 feet or so away from me. Out of the blue I do a Mickey Mouse voice (one I’ve never done before) and say (high pitched and LOUD) “Hi Samantha! It’s Mickey Mouse!!†She immediately starts screaming and bursts into terrified tears. “AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!†and goes tearing down the hallway. Now..it’s not immediately apparent to me what has happened, because scaring her wasn’t my intention. So I thought she fell, hurt herself and I chased after her, “Honey, are you okay?†- “ahhhh, Mickey Mouse is here somewhere and he scared me...ahhhhh mickey mouse scared me! where is he?!â€
So I told her it was just me pretending, nothing to be scared of and I hugged her. All was fine until...
Technorati Tags: groomsmen gifts, mickey mouse, kid's stories, sports gifts
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Riding the Segway
Posted April 27, 2007 4:48 PM
It's not that I'm not on board with new gas-less ways of getting around, but I just can't get my noggin wrapped around this Segway concept. I really want to get behind it, but you know they're pretty pricey (in the thousands) and other than wanting to rip around the golf course and do donuts, I can't quite imagine myself loading up and heading off to work on the insane streets of Los Angeles on one of these bad boys.
Technorati Tags: alternative transportation, bikes, scooters
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TV Still Coming To the Net
Posted March 27, 2007 10:40 AM
Who doesn't love a little Jack Black? Even when he takes roles that aren't necessarily right for him (anyone see "The Holiday?") he still has that X factor that appeals to us. It's likely because we just want to see how he's going to make an ass out of himself this time. I'm all for it, and I've even seen "Envy" twice...and I think we know that wasn't his best work - most have said those awful three words that are just a killer..."Un-Watch-Able." Whatever with all that. I love the guy, and I love the new project he's E.P.ing (that's fancy H-Wood speak for Executive Producing). Viacom's VH-1 network has recently launched, Acceptable TV which has a compilation of short, original and edgy programming as TV continues its surge towards the net.
Technorati Tags: acceptable tv, jack black, television shows
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Random Grooming Thoughts
Posted March 22, 2007 2:30 PM
This just in...A conversation amongst several of my good, red-blooded male friends at lunch today somehow went from the topic of hot females that we noticed at a restaurant to the NCAA games that were set to begin, to who is the better bowler and then we somehow switched gears to discuss how Magic Shaving Powder is a great product to use, um, down there. I guess we've crossed all boundaries, but Carl asked me if when I recommend gifts for men, why I shouldn't suggest that a great gift for her wouldn't be a well groomed hrmh sack.
Technorati Tags: body grooming, guy gifts, hair remover, norelco body groom
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Great Gifts For Him - Stay Out Of Jail!
Posted March 20, 2007 2:16 PM
I suddenly realize that my everyday life is blog-worthy beyond just writing witty gifts for men reviews for your pleasure. After rolling a satisfying 196 in my bowling leauge last night, I was enjoying myself immensely and happily buying drinks for my boys on team Thunderstroke after we thoroughly destroyed the Cheesycakes. I was all smiles on my long drive home too. Now I'm very careful with my drink consumption as it's a long drive from bowling alley to home. I kept myself at a cop safe 72 mph so as to not risk getting pulled over. This strategy has kept me out of trouble for the past three bowling seasons, and again, I'm always careful not to overdo it with the sauce.
Technorati Tags: bowling, d.w.i., drunk drivers, gifts for men
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American Idol is Killing Me
Posted March 13, 2007 10:16 PM
Yeah, I'm straight, don't even go there. Oh no you din't! Anyway, I'm sitting here on my derrier watching Sanjaya Malakrap sing on tonight's American Idol, if one could even have the courage to call it singing, and I'm wondering how far this horrific kid can go in this sacred competition. I was supposed to write a guy gift review, but I can't fathom gifts for him while I'm this pissed off. In reality I think there's like three good people in this top twelve. I'm a mediocre singer at best and can belt out The Doors as well as the next drunkard at the Karaoke bar down the street, but this kid Malakrud makes William Hung sound decent for crying out loud!
Technorati Tags: american idol, top ten music, chris daughtry, the doors
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The Departed Wins The Big One
Posted February 26, 2007 6:06 PM
All right, now we're talking people. If you paid any attention to the pre-oscar blog I wrote touting "The Departed" as the movie that probably wouldn't win, but should win, I was pretty much wrong and I couldn't be happier with the results. We heard all sorts of reasons as to why The Departed couldn't win simply because it wasn't as good as "Good Fellas" but the bottom line was, it was a great, film with a phenomenal cast and it was molded together by one of the best directors of our time. Kudos to Marty on his big win. He was beaming all night, and you could just feel it coming when his long time editor took Oscar home earlier in the evening and he had tears streaming down his cheeks.
Technorati Tags: academy award, guy gifts, oscar night, the departed
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And the Winner Is...
Posted February 24, 2007 7:18 AM
Have you seen every single film that is up for best picture this year? What's that? You missed "Letters From Iwo Jima?" You didn't get out to see "Babel" or "The Queen" despite your best intentions? I bet you saw "The Departed" though didn't you? Of course you did. Why is that you suddenly ask yourself? It's because you're a red-blooded, scotch drinking, strip club frequenting guy. Own it, pal! You are what you are and ain't nobody can take that away from you. Sorry, I slip into Apollo Creed tones often when I want to express a point. The truth is, I don't think that "The Departed" is going to necessarily win. I just bring up the conversation because I know that seems to be the film that everyone really made a point to see. It doesn't mean it's the best, it just means it's Guyville's favorite.
Technorati Tags: academy award, oscar night, the departed, top ten movies
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Impotence Ads Under Fire
Posted February 22, 2007 8:12 PM
Is it inappropriate to request a dozen bottles of Viagra when being asked what would be deemed among the more perfect "gifts for men?" Well, whether it's appropriate or not, the drug makers are coming under fire for running their suggestive commercials during childrens' programming and other inappropriate time slots. The thing that I find really funny is that these ads seem to be starring younger and younger people. Look at the couple in the above picture, for example. This is a newer commercial for Viagra, the market leader in EDE or what I like to call erectile dysfunction ecstasy.
Technorati Tags: erectile dysfunction, cialis, viagra
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Anna Nicole - The End of Present Day's Marilyn Monroe
Posted February 10, 2007 4:56 PM
There's just something so unsettling and sad about her being gone that it almost doesn't feel right. Sure we made fun of her when she was thin and crazy and married to that hundred year-old guy. Of course we poked fun at her while watching her train wreck of a reality show. We laughed our asses off at her when she was 200 pounds and tried to make it with some loser in the bathroom on the Howard Stern show. But there was something innocent and sweet about her too. She was our present day Marilyn Monroe. She was apple pie and the all American girl that we had a crush on despite her looniness. I think deep down we all wanted to take her by the hand and show her the light. We wanted to save her somehow - as if somehow we had the answers for her and that if we could just get her away from it all we could show her the sane side of life.
Technorati Tags: anna nicole smith, marilyn monroe, untimely deaths
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Mmm, Squirrel - The Other Other White Meat
Posted January 29, 2007 7:22 PM
Associated Press: Trenton, N.J. (AP) A warning has been issued to the residents of Ringwood, New Jersey to watch their consumption of squirrel meat as they could be contaminated with lead. A lead contaminated squirrel was apparently found about two months ago and it prompted letters to go out to residents that eating squirrels more than twice per week could prove harmful to your health. Children and pregnant women should consume squirrel even less. This prompts me to ask a curious and burning question...who in the heck eats squirrel?! I can understand looking at a bunny and thinking, damn, he looks like he might be kind of tasty, but who in their right mind looks at a squirrel and says, man, I gotta have me some squirrel at least three times a week or I'll go out of my mind? We like to suggest gifts for men, but this one has us scratching our heads.
Technorati Tags: strange delicacies, squirrel hunting, squirrel targets
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I'll Drink To That
Posted January 21, 2007 9:26 PM
How many times have you planned a party, bought the beer, bought the wine, purchased the food and wondered what alcohol you should get to set the party apart from all others? Or worse than that, you've bought the vodka and the bourbon, but you have no idea what to mix them with. You can jump online and Google a Mojito recipe, but ten sites will give you ten different recipes, and who really has time to try them all to see which one is correct? If only there was a website that posted not only hundreds and hundreds of drink recipes, but also filmed the bartender making them right before our very eyes. Now that would be something to tune in to.
Technorati Tags: bar recipes, cocktails, cool gifts, drinkstv
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Television Coming To The Web
Posted January 10, 2007 4:17 AM
This just in...Extra Extra, read all about it...Coming soon to computers everywhere. As reported in the Wall Street Journal, several television networks are hoping to undercut the role of cable and satellite companies by bringing their programs to the web. Amongst the companies paving the way are Nickelodeon, Showtime and Starz, reportedly having reached agreements with Microsoft to help make web meet TV. Talk about pure manna from heaven - these are the little gifts that men of all shapes and ages can embrace. Imagine, "Honey, bring me my computer and a piece of cake, I'm watching reruns!"
Technorati Tags: beer nuts, computers, cable companies, television
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Graphic Novels - The Gift That Keeps Giving
Posted January 6, 2007 4:58 PM
Whatever happened to the great comic books and graphic novels that meant so much to us as kids? Did they go away, or did we just outgrow them? The reality is comics have never left, and though they've gone through many manifestations throughout the years, and continue to do so with mobile media, video ipods and web comics, they are here to stay. I recently got my mitts on the new "Cowboys & Aliens" graphic novel published by Platinum Studios and immediately was reminded why so many of our best feature films are born from comics.
Technorati Tags: animation, comics, cowboys and aliens, guy gift, graphic novels
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New Years Resolutions - Guy Style
Posted December 31, 2006 5:37 PM
Here is a short list of New Years Resolutions that every guy can get behind. I believe that resolutions should be small gifts to ourselves that no one in the world can give us but, well...ourselves. The goals shouldn't be too lofty, or too hard, or put too much pressure on us to succeed should we fail, that way the disappointment won't depress us. The resolutions should be meaningful so we focus on getting them accomplished, yet in no way should the effort be more difficult than the reward. That said, here is what I'm focusing on doing in 2007.
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Donald Rumsfeld Is In My Dreams
Posted December 29, 2006 2:57 PM
And he hates me. I need some help with dream analysis, folks: I had a nightmare last night that I was back in high school or maybe college (or law school, the scene of many real-life nightmares for me), prepping for a standardized test. I went up to the professor to get my test form and it was, guess who, the Rummy himself. I got a test form from him, went back to my desk to take the test, and then realized that it was someone else's form. Not only that, but they'd already done the test! So, I brought it back up to him and asked for my form instead. He peered at me with those beady little eyes, took the old, used form, and then told me I already had mine. I went back to my desk (again) and searched everywhere.
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ACURA RDX - 240 Turbo Charged Horses
Posted December 23, 2006 12:11 PM
We welcomed a new addition to the household last week. She is a beauty too. She is soft and smooth and brand spanking new. She has a throaty laugh, a wicked temper and like most women, likes to be in charge. When my wife first inquired about the new Acura RDX (yes it's to be her car), I thought, man that's a chick car all the way. Why not just throw in the
towel and get a Volkswagon Cabrio. The lines of the RDX are sleek, yet somehow appealing to the target audience of 30 to 35 year-old female, small family demographic.
Technorati Tags: Acura RDX, Car, Holiday Gift, SUV
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Buy - Sell - Trade - Tag It!
Posted December 13, 2006 6:07 PM
No, it's not the recycler, but cutting edge new website, itaggit will thrill and excite collectors of all things big and small. From the high-end hobbyist and his priceless special edition GI Joe collection to the two-cent trinket collector, Itaggit gives users the ability to inventory their collections and manage them all while either publishing them to other itaggit users or keeping them private.
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The LA Auto Show - Christmas Comes Early
Posted December 9, 2006 11:32 PM
The holidays wouldn't be the holidays without the Los Angeles Auto Show. This year there were more than 35 world and North American debuts. This is an unprecedented amount of new vehicles for a single show and with few exceptions, every manufacturer brought their A-game. We learned a lot at this show. For instance the Lotus cars are so teeny tiny that up close and personal they look more like go-carts than cars. I watched a six-foot plus two hundred and something pound dude try to get into the hard top Exige S and I have never laughed harder.
Technorati Tags: Cars, Chrysler Imperial, LA Auto Show, Lamborghini, Lotus
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English - The Forgotten Language
Posted December 7, 2006 9:08 AM
After we chewed up and spit out Michael Richards for his blatant and terrifying racist meltdown, we find ourselves wanting to delicately point out that we've noticed that English, the language of our country for the past several hundred years seems to be dwindling away as the melting pot of our country grows larger. Personally, I love interracial relationships and the possibility that if we are all diluted enough a few hundred years from now, racism will be impossible. I'm also half Russian Jew and half Armenian, a rare combination of two holocaust-surviving families, yet I still thought Borat was hilarious, so clearly I’m not supersensitive. That said, it appears that more and more instances are occurring – and perhaps it’s mostly a California thing – that nobody speaks English anymore. I had the cable guy come over here yesterday and I said, "I’d like the cable box to go over there, please." He looked at me as if I was absolutely insane. "I not understandy." He told me. I couldn’t be any clearer, "Put cable box there." Again I got that baffled look. This man spoke not a word of English. I was reminded of Sam Kinison at the 7-11. "Marlboro! Smokey smokey! You don’t speak English had you get the f’ng job?!" Come on, people, if you’re going to live here, at least try to learn some of the language. After I took an hour and some pencil markings to explain where to put the box, you should have seen his face when I asked him for a channel lineup card. I’ll I can tell you is that the look on his face was priceless. I’ve never seen so many lines on a forehead before. "A gwat?!" he asked irritated. I never knew there was a ‘y’ at the end of understand and a ‘g’ before the word ‘what.’ For this hard-working gentleman and many others like him, we’d like to recommend a fabulous book that would be a great guy gift for the non-English speaking man. We love that you’re here, now let’s all get on the same communication page, and it will be bliss.
Gator Attacks Naked Man on Crack
Posted December 1, 2006 11:31 AM
CBS news - Lakeland, Florida reported that a naked, 45 year-old man was rescued by four sheriff's deputies after being attacked and dragged into a lake on Wednesday. We at Guyville were initially unsure as to whether the man was on crack, or if he'd been bitten on his rear end as the headline read, "Gator Attacks Naked Man on Crack." He must have been high on crack, because how in the world could he survive an attack from a twelve foot alligator with one arm broken, another arm torn off, save for a single ligament, and both legs chomped on?
Technorati Tags: gator attack, lakeland florida
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Michael Richards Needs Help!
Posted November 24, 2006 4:24 PM
Holy cow, I know everyone has been talking about this for days now, but that kooky, crazy loveable Cosmo Kramer just unveiled a side of him that no one wanted to see. Was he high? Literally, not figuratively, I have to ask the question…was the man high?
Technorati Tags: anger management, Kramer, Michael Richards, Seinfeld
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Death To Maisy Mouse!
Posted November 13, 2006 6:09 PM
This is a plea for help for all Guyville guys out there who have kids under the age of five. Have you spent countless hours watching these ridiculous morning cartoons with your chitlins while BCS teams are going head to head? Have you tried to sneak in a quick channel change only to hear your young ‘un scream her head off in protest? 
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How to Fix a Clogged Toilet
Posted August 29, 2006 1:45 PM
Everyone's been there. At your buddy / girlfriend's house. Just a tad too much paper, and the next thing you know, you're whimpering "no!! please!!" as the waters rise like the mighty Mississippi during the rainy season (less picturesque, though). Don't panic. Most bathrooms (especially in family homes) are equipped with everything you'll need to emerge with pride intact.
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How to Make a Toast
Posted August 29, 2006 1:44 PM
At some point during your life you'll have to make a toast. A toast is defined as "something in honor in which persons usually drink." It's also defined as "sliced bread browned on both sides by heat." But let's stick with the first one. (ed. Note: we do not cover 'how to make toast' here)
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How do I find good quotes to use for a toast?
Posted August 29, 2006 1:38 PM
Marriage
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
- Anonymous
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
- Irwin Corey
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century B.C.
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
- Amy Bloom
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
- Anonymous
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
- Anonymous
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How To Put Together a Resume
Posted August 29, 2006 1:36 PM
You've probably heard the phrase "get a job" a good few thousand times since being able to remember words in your cerebral cortex. And now the time has arrived. You need a job (one where you're not on a lawn mower or making signs on cardboard boxes). The first component of the job search is the resume, a succinct summation of your life and work experience. Having a great education and work history helps, but presentation is everything. A crisp, tight, well-organized list of your favorite swimsuits will go farther than a sloppy page full of 20 years experience.
Your resume should include the following information:
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Guyville Facts of the day - Page 1
Posted August 29, 2006 1:26 PM
1. Harrison Ford has been in 8 of the Top 50 Grossing Movies Ever, totaling 2.03 billion dollars.
2. 'New car smell' is caused by phtylates, a plastic softener used in car upholstery
3. 60% of all babies are named after a relative.
4. The world's smallest country is Vatican City, which is 17 square miles.
5. A guy's life expectancy is estimated at 74. In 1900, it was 46.
6. 9% of American households had TVs in 1950. Today it is above 98%.
7. The sailfish is the fastest animal in water, which can travel at speeds up to 68 mph.
8. In 1921 there were 30,456 banks in the United States. In 1999, there were 8,675.
9. The United States has more prisoners than any other country with over 1.6 million. Russia is second with just over 1 million.
10. The hottest day ever was in Libya, recorded at 136 degrees Fahrenheit.
11. In 1998, South Carolinians scored lowest on the math SAT, averaging a score or 470.
12. An American will produce over 1,600 pounds of waste a year.
13. Chop suey was invented in 1896.
14. A gallon of water weighs 8.3 pounds. A gallon of gasoline weighs 5.8 pounds.
15. Women blink twice as much as men.
16. Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 U.S. states.
17. Selling chewing gum in Singapore is illegal.
18. Roughly 2.3 Million Americans are on vacation every week.
19. Gabriel the Archangel is the patron saint of television.
20. St. Fiacre is the patron saint of cab drivers
21. Czechs drink more beer than any other nation, roughly 358 bottles of beer a year.
22. The highest toll paid for the Panama Canal was $141,344. It was for the cruise ship The Crown Princess.
23. Sugar Free Mr. Pibb has the highest amount of caffeine out of all sodas, even more than Mountain Dew.
24. Woodrow Wilson appeared on the $100,000 bill, which hasn't been printed since 1934.
25. James Garfield, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George Bush and Bill Clinton were all left-handed.
25 more.....
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How to Become a Movie Star
Posted August 29, 2006 11:41 AM
On the side of the telephone booth, on the cover of People and Premiere, on "Friends" and on the commercials during "Friends," there they are: the golden boys and girls of Hollywood. We all hear about them, their lives, their favorite foods and when they get parking tickets. Glitz, glamour, [insert other clichés here]. The one problem is although these 7-figure movie dealers are high profile, the large majority of actors stay not only off the radar, but just plain off. According to SAG (the Screen Actors Guild, the union all movie/television actors must join), in 1996, 85% of the 90,000 actors in SAG earned less than $5,000. That's $96 a week, before taxes. And a little more than ¼ of SAG members earned nothing under SAG contracts. So before you pack a bag and head to Tinseltown, let's get realistic.
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