- you can't seem to groom your tool without first lifting up your tool shed.
- Walking up the two steps getting on and off the escalator completely exhaust you.
- You go over a bump while driving in your car and your man boobs jiggle.
I can go on and on with these. I bring this up because something recently came to my attention after meeting a friend I hadn't seen in about five years. We were having dinner and he said, "Buddy, you look a little different to me. Are you feeling well?" Confused because I felt fine, I said, "I feel great. Why?" He continued with, "Well I see a what looks like a big lump that's under your chin and it just seems enormous to me. Will you please have it checked out?" I took a deep breath and said, unfortunately out loud, "That's my chin, dumb ass." The only thing this poor guy could manage to say was, "Oh, my bad." He wasn't trying to be mean or even make a point. He was shocked at how after a few years I'd put on so much weight.
